


Everybody's Coming Home

by speccygeekgrrl



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Joel and Mike save their kids, M/M, Rescue Missions, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12156090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: If Joel knew precisely how far he'd have to go to find the people whose words marked his skin, he probably would have been a whole lot less laid-back in general. But it seems like whenever he goes to rescue his bot children, he comes home plus a soulmate.





	Everybody's Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Anon on Tumblr requested Joel/Mike/Jonah soulmate AU. This took FOREVER to come together (okay it took less than three weeks but it FELT like forever) and... I hope it's okay!

Generally, people with very specific soulmarks were a lot more desperate to find their mates than ones with vague words. Not always, but usually. Joel wondered if he'd be less laid back about it if he had anything super specific written on his skin, but his marks-- two, which was unusual but not incredibly rare-- were pretty generic. There'd been a few close calls-- the fact that the first thing Dr. Forrester ever said to Joel matched one of his marks fucked with his head for _years_ when he realized that he'd sealed his own fate by trusting the mad scientist when that was the last thing he ever should have done-- but after that gigantic lapse of reason, Joel took a very hands-off approach to soulmate-seeking. Either they'd know each other or they wouldn't. If he had any idea the lengths he'd end up going to in order to find whose words marked his skin, he probably wouldn't have been so laid back about anything in his life, but he was blissfully unaware until he returned to the Satellite of Love in order to prevent it from plummeting to Earth.

He didn't know at first glance that the wholesome-looking temp from Deep 13 was his destiny (or half of it anyways), but it was barely a moment after they met face to face before Joel realized that he'd found what he hadn't been actively looking for. Joel had Mike's untidy penmanship scrawled in the bend of his left elbow-- _hey, who do we have here?_

Mike's soulmark was tiny and so vague that he'd never expected to match it up to anyone, just _Oh!_ , but its placement at the base of his left ring finger made it obvious that if he managed to find his soulmate it wouldn't be a fleeting relationship. He found out that "Oh!" was Joel's shocked reaction to finally hearing his own soulmark spoken aloud when Joel grabbed his hands and smiled up at him, adding, "Wow, I never thought I'd find you _here_." He glanced down and then said, " _Oh!_ " again, turning Mike's right hand to see the mark on his wrist, _You're...new._ written in a precise hand. "No kidding."

"No kidding what?" Mike asked. He'd always been a little sensitive about having two soulmarks-- what did that mean about him? was he doomed to be unfaithful? or was he doomed to lose one of them early? Joel held up his right hand and Mike was struck speechless to find his mark duplicated on Joel's wrist. " _Oh..._ "

"That's what I said," Joel said dryly, and then they were mobbed by the bots.

"What is it?"

"Is this a weird human thing?"

"Yeah, it is," Joel said. "This changes everything." Joel had never heard of two people sharing a soulmark, but as soon as he knew as soon as he saw the same writing on Mike's wrist that they were meant to be part of something larger. The same words in the same handwriting, on the same place... Whoever the third person was, Joel and Mike would be together when they met them. Joel's plan had been to fix the Satellite of Love and leave its occupants in space, but that was no longer acceptable. He'd had qualms about it anyways, questions about his ability to play it cool when reunited with the bots he missed so much, but now-- no. There was no way he could leave anyone behind now.

He still fixed the SOL, even knowing that it was about to be abandoned. It deserved better than a fiery descent into the ocean. But when Joel got back into his spacecraft, it was packed in like sardines with Mike, Tom on Mike's lap, Crow wedged between them, Gypsy coiled up behind the bench seat, and Cambot cradled carefully with his lens pressed against Joel's chest because he was scared and Joel couldn't spare the attention for verbal reassurance when his focus needed to be one hundred percent at getting them safely back to Earth.

What Joel expected, he couldn't have said. But he _didn't_ expect how easy it would be to make a family with Mike. They both loved the bots, and it was laughably simple for them to fall for each other-- laughably, literally, sitting next to each other on the couch while they all watched bad movies and mocked them of their own free will. Mike turned to whisper a risque riff in Joel's ear and Joel was giggling out loud when he turned and caught Mike in a kiss. "If that's what you're into you just had to say so," Joel laughed, and Mike turned red at the implication-- it had been a _joke_ , okay, he wasn't _that_ depraved-- and kissed Joel back just to shut him up, and... that was more or less all it took for them to realize that kissing each other was a very good thing that they should definitely be doing a lot more of.

The years passed, perhaps not idyllically but pretty damn close to it. The only thing that wasn't wonderful was the everpresent reminder on both their wrists that fate had someone else in store for their weird little family. 

Then the bots went missing and it felt like the color went out of the world. Joel and Mike came home from grocery shopping to find a broken front door and an empty house. Someone had abducted their kids... and the authorities wouldn't take them seriously. 

"Someone stole your robots? Like a roomba?" The cop laughed obnoxiously. Joel and Mike shared a look of despair. They weren't going to get any help. They'd have to find the bots themselves. Unfortunately, they searched for months without turning up a single thread to pull on.

They tried to keep up their riffing routine without the bots to keep their spirits up with mixed results. Then in April they went to Netflix to pull up a cheesy movie to watch and there at the top of the suggestions was something that made Joel's heart skip a beat. _Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return_. Mike clicked on it immediately and they sat in silence until the riffing began and he hit pause and turned to look at Joel.

"We have to save them." 

"You know, I've been working on upgrading my spaceship," Joel said thoughtfully. "I need a couple days to finish tinkering, but the dark side of the moon will be doable no problem." He slid his fingers over Mike's to unpause the show. "But... I miss their voices." 

Joel sequestered himself in his workshop. Mike did research by watching the rest of the episodes. Well, it seemed like it wouldn't be too terribly hard to evade Kinga's notice. And it also seemed like this Jonah kid was pretty laid-back about his captivity. Well, until Mike got to the last episode and his heart sank to his feet. It wasn't until he showed it to Joel that Joel noticed the tiny space-suited figure walking the exterior of the Satellite of Love during the credits.

"We're not too late," he said, squeezing Mike tightly. "But the sooner we go the better. And we're good to go now."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Joel tugged at the sleeve of Mike's t-shirt.

"We should do this right. Where'd we put our jumpsuits?"

Mike's memories of being rescued were blurry with adrenaline, but he remembered it taking hours to get from the SOL back to Earth. The spacecraft they set off in was nominally the same, but over the years Joel had upgraded every part of it. The most recent addition was an extra seat, clearly added at the last minute but just as secure as the rest of the seating. Joel didn't halfass anything even if he did rush it. And this time it barely took two hours to clear the far side of the moon and catch sight of the familiar shape of the Satellite where they'd both spent years so long ago.

Joel took them in at an angle they couldn't be seen from the moon surface and attached to the same docking bay he'd used eighteen years before. They walked through the Satellite in near-silence, every so often reaching out for each other. They paused when they heard voices coming through the door to the kitchen. Joel looked at Mike, a question in his eyes, and Mike nodded. They went through the door. 

"So that's why it would be impossible for the witch to-- huh?" Jonah turned around at the sound of the door opening, and his brows arched. "You're... new."

"We're actually old," Joel said. "But we're here to rescue you."

"And our kids," Mike added, and almost fell over when Tom zoomed into his chest. "Whoa! Holy Hannah, Tom, who turbocharged you?"

"Jonah did! He's surprisingly handy."

"Jeez, your _voice_. Guess he's a dab hand at upgrades," Mike said, and Tom proceeded to talk his ear off about what Jonah had done to improve the mechanical denizens of the SOL. 

Jonah didn't say anything for a long moment, just stared unblinking at Joel and Mike, before he shook his head sharply. "Well. Okay then. Who am I to argue with a rescue mission set by destiny itself?" He offered a hand to Joel with a dazed but pleased smile. "Hi. I'm Jonah. And I'm glad you finally made it, I've been holding out hope to meet you. The bots have told me a lot about the both of you."

"All good, I hope," Joel said. Jonah's hand was very big and very warm, and he had a solid handshake. Joel liked him immediately.

"Fat chance," Crow said, and launched himself onto his creator's back. "Joel Joel Joel you'll never guess what happened--"

"Tell me when we get home, honey," Joel said, rapping his knuckles lightly against Crow's beak. "Did you change your pin again? You all sound different now."

"You think _we_ sound different, wait until you hear Gyps!"

"That's my fault," Jonah said. "You really did amazing work with the bots, but technology's advanced since then... I just upgraded them a little." He looked abashed. Joel liked him even more.

"I can't wait to hear about it," Joel said. "After we get the heck out of Dodge, though."

"If we're on a time crunch, I'm going to need help getting the lovely lady running the ship down off the ceiling."

"The ceiling," Mike repeated, pulled out of his quiet conversation with Tom. "That was a hell of an idea. It'll take time to undo, though."

"Don't you worry about me," Gypsum said as she came into the room, and both Joel and Mike did obvious double-takes. "But you should worry about Kinga. Moon 13's trying to call up."

"I'll go deflect," Jonah said, "maybe buy us some time. I'll meet you at the docking bay once I get rid of her."

"Good thinking. Make sure you grab Cambot on your way out," Joel said. 

"Good luck," Mike added, and Jonah nodded and headed off to wrangle his Mads, a task neither Joel nor Mike envied him. Before they got started on the escape, though, they herded the bots into a group hug. "We missed you guys so much," Mike said, voice thick with the threat of tears.

"We were okay," Crow said. "Well, after Jonah got here. Before it was pretty bad. But we knew you'd come for us."

"Oh, really?" Joel asked.

"Yeah," Tom said. "He has your handwriting on him. It's the same weird human thing that made you rescue us the first time, right?"

"You're exactly right, Tom Servo," Joel said, squeezing the little red bot. "Come on, then. It's time to take you home. Everybody's coming home."


End file.
